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How Fear Beats You Without You Even Knowing It

fear

Fear shades everything you look at.

When you have fear, it colors each opportunity you are presented with through a lens that makes the opportunity look different than what’s really there.

Fear causes you to “add to” the scenario, things that may not be all that likely to happen.

Fear causes you to run through a list of worst case outcomes.

Fear leads you focus on the negative things that are distant possibilities.

Fear is your creativity working in the wrong direction.

Therefore, fear makes you discount the potential of the positive possibility.

In our minds, we tell ourselves that we are being smart or prudent in evaluating or thinking through the worst case – and sometimes that’s true.

But often what is really happening is that we end up making a decision based not on what is actually there but based on what our fear adds to what is there.

Unlikely outcomes.

Worst case scenarios.

Creative destructions that we make up in our own minds.

This “Fear Filter” works just as a sieve. It strips out so many opportunities that could change our lives for the better just because they are unknown.

The Fear Filter catches and traps what could be good by coloring it with what could be bad.

And just as you might forget after a few hours that you have sunglasses on, over a long period of time you forget and don’t even realize how many wonderful opportunities you are abdicating from your life because they are passing through a Fear Filter that you have forgotten was even there.

Harnessing Anger

harnessing anger

Anger is a dangerous form of indulgence.

I was once again reminded of this when recently I made the mistake of having an (ineffective) conversation based out of my anger instead of out of reason.

Afterwards it occurred to me that while feeling angry is certainly a very natural emotion, we must realize it is still an emotion.

And one of the highest callings of mankind is to learn to manage our emotions and to channel them productively into useful, purposeful, and reasonable action that forwards our collective progress.

To act out of only anger then is an immature practice of losing to one’s own emotion.

To operate out of sheer anger is a lack of self-control and a transparent admission of our inability to self-govern.

To retaliate solely in anger is to give up our humanity by foregoing our unique ability to reason.

If we enable our emotions to solely dictate our behaviors, then it is only savage instinct rather than beautiful intellect that shapes our lives.

Not only that, but allowing anger to dictate our actions is a demonstration of our own short sightedness.

Because when has acting immediately and only out of anger ever led to a long term sustained resolution?

Probably never.

It cannot resolve anything between two parties because anger is only one-sided. It is the ultimate expression of careless self-centeredness because it disallows you from considering any other person or perspective. You instead allow yourself only to be blinded by your own anger.

Which is why anger is, paradoxically, very weak.

Like all forms of indulgence, anger deceives us into thinking that giving into the short term temptation of allowing ourselves to be
is the best thing to do. But not only does it never lead to resolve, it in fact makes things much worse in the long run.

Like all emotions, anger can lead to good but only when it is channeled into careful, thoughtful, deliberate, peaceful and reasonable action.

So I suppose the question then for all of us is “are you going to allow your emotions to manage you or are you going to be the kind of person who rises up and instead masters your emotions?”

Servant Selling Salesperson Oath

servant selling salesperson oath

 My intuition tells me that for salespeople to survive in the future, more and more the market is not just going to prefer – but demand that they become servant sellers.

Perhaps we should all just go ahead and formally declare that we are one by taking an oath such as this.

What do you think? Anything you would add? Leave a comment below.

I am a Servant Salesperson
I never take advantage of people
I am a Servant Salesperson
I do not sell people things they don’t need
I am a Servant Salesperson
I never lie to or mislead customers
I am a Servant Salesperson
I am not timid about the value of what I provide but I do not pressure people
I am a Servant Salesperson
I trust that sooner or later I always get paid for how hard I work
I am a Servant Salesperson
I help people make decisions about what is best for them
I am a Servant Salesperson
I always over deliver
I am a Servant Salesperson
My sale isn’t complete until my offering has created actual improved results for my client
I am a Servant Salesperson
I work harder than everyone else
I am a Servant Salesperson
I teach people to overcome their fears
I am a Servant Salesperson
I am an expert in my field
I am a Servant Salesperson
I don’t allow people the useless indulgence of procrastination
I am a Servant Salesperson
I am bold, decisive, energetic and enthusiastic
I am a Servant Salesperson
I generate an abundance of leads and referrals
I am a Servant Salesperson
I always do the right thing and not the easy thing
I am a Servant Salesperson
I maintain and build long term relationships with my clients
I am a Servant Salesperson
I always offer fair and consistent pricing
I am a Servant Salesperson
I only sell products I am absolutely convicted on
I am a Servant Salesperson
I do not get nervous because my heart is always on service
I am a Servant Salesperson
I am honest
I am trustworthy
I am hardworking
I am powerful
I am unique
I am rare
I care
I serve
I believe in people
I believe in myself
I am a Servant Salesperson

Life Story with Angie Moss and Brad Moore: Conquering Complacency – Episode 150 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

conquering complacency

Angie Moss is a 25 year sales and sales management veteran with nationally recognized success spanning several different industries including real estate finance, healthcare, insurance, and printing/publishing.

Brad Moore started in the mortgage business in 2009 and started Southwestern Coaching in February of 2015. Brad is now the Vice President of BancorpSouth Wealth Management Financial Advisor, Infinex Investments, Inc.

 

Show Highlights:

  • What do you do after you’ve been successful? @rory_vaden
  • You must put your career goals down on paper. – Brad Moore
  • I had hit my goal but still felt guilty. – Brad Moore
  • Success is not represented by money you make or time you have but by the impact you have. @rory_vaden
  • Success is measured by the impact you’re making vs the impact you could potentially be making. @rory_vaden
  • Sometimes you need to spend time working on your business not in your business. @coachingbyAngie
  • Use the 10,000ft view to make a clear path from producer to leader. @coachingbyAngie
  • The quest is to stay away from complacency. @coachingbyAngie
  • The end is a moving target – Keep your feet moving. @coachingbyAngie
  • Success is like sanctification; you never actually get there. Once you allow yourself to feel like you’re there you’ve capped your potential. – Brad Moore
  • All the money, title, fame, awards and recognition eventually loses its allure, but a heart of service always inspires, motivates and sustains. @rory_vaden
  • 5 combatants of complacency –
    • Reduce Your Risk
    • Raise Your Expectation level
    • Create New Challenges
    • Invest in Significance
    • Focus on Giving

Learn more about BanCorpSouth, Click Here!

Interested in Coaching from Southwestern Consulting? Click Here!

The Action Catalyst show is a weekly podcast that Rory Vaden of Southwestern Consulting™ hosts every Wednesday, which is regularly in the Top 25 of Business News Podcasts and has listeners from all around the world. The show shares “insights and inspiration to help you take action”. Each week Rory shares ideas on how to increase your self-discipline and make better use of your time to help you achieve your goals in life. He also interviews one very special expert guest and thought leader every week. Subscribe on iTunes and please leave a rating and review!

Real Freedom: Your Deepest Darkest Secrets Revealed

Real

What if someone audited your life?

What if they saw every website you had ever been to?

Saw every tax document you ever prepared?

Viewed every email or text you’d ever sent?

Or listened to every conversation you’d ever had? (Including those conversations that were in your own head)

Would you be proud?

Would you be honored?

Would you be ok with your spouse seeing them?

Your kids seeing them?

Your colleagues seeing them?

Your friends seeing them?

Would you be okay with them being splashed across the front page of every major newspaper and being the topic of discussion of every major talk show?

For most of us, it’s a bit scary to think about someone auditing our life.

And yet most of the things we would be scared to have people find out about us are things that felt good in the short term.

They were indulgences.

They were moments where we did what ever we wanted, said what ever our emotions led us to, or thought vengefully without fear of repercussion.

So why is it then that those things that “felt so good” in the short term would be the things that we would be most ashamed, humiliated, and embarrassed about in the long term?

Maybe it’s because those things are not real pleasures.

Maybe it’s because those things are not true sustainable sources of happiness.

Maybe it’s because those things are lying deceptions of the world.

And the reality is that it’s the things we think are hard…

It’s the things we think are difficult…

It’s the things we think are sacrifices…

That aren’t really sacrifices at all.

They are just short term down payments on rich future blessings.

And the freedom we seek…

The pleasure we seek…

The peace we seek….

Is not the result of quiet, hidden, secretive indulgences.

But rather the open, unashamed, unapologetic invitation to audit our entire life.

It is the confidence of knowing that there is nothing to hide.

It is the real freedom that comes from the scrutiny of transparency.

2 Reasons Your Meetings Are Complete Failures

Reasons why your meetings are complete failures

Meetings are worthless without execution.

It is absolutely mind boggling how many meetings go on each and every day in businesses all across the globe that are virtually a complete waste of time.

Meetings are perhaps the lowest use of time and the greatest waste of money in all of business.

People think that the purpose of meetings is to communicate.

That is wrong.

Communication is not a purpose because communication is not a destination.

Communication is the journey. Communication is the process. But communication isn’t the goal.

The destination, and the purpose of meetings, is two-fold.

1. To make decisions
2. To take actions

That’s it.

That is why you meet.

Decisions and actions.

If you don’t complete either of these, then your meeting was a failure.

Building trust and comradery is also a function of meetings, but it’s still more of a bi-product rather than the focused outcome.

Communication is the necessary path to making decisions and to deciding what actions need to be taken.

But communication, in and of itself, is not an end goal.

So when you meet you meet, you need at least one person in the meeting driving the team to make decisions and to assign action items.

Not only that but you also, more importantly, need one person that documents those decisions made and the action items assigned.

That way you can refer back to them later, communicate clear next action steps, and hold people accountable to getting significant priorities knocked out.

If you walk out of a meeting without decisions documented and action items assigned, then I don’t care how good of a meeting it was, it was a failed meeting.

It was a waste of time.

It was a lack of leadership.

You have to make decisions.

And you have to assign actions.

When you do that, things get done.

Things get changed.

Things get improved.

And if your meeting doesn’t have the right people, the right amount of time, or the right commitment to decisions and actions…

Then simply, don’t have the meeting.