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The Radical Response to Dealing with Mean People


Meanness is a sign of weakness.

People who are strong, confident and secure do not attack other people.

Because people who are strong, confident and secure don’t derive their strength based upon their relationships to other people.

True self-esteem, true peace, and true contentment is the internal result of knowing you’ve done everything in your power to the best of your ability. It’s the byproduct of controlling what you can control, being grateful for what you have, and is not dependent on other people or outside circumstances.

So if you encounter someone who is mean, it is a glaring sign that they are struggling with something.

They are struggling with pain.

Remember only hurt people, ever hurt people.

Happy people don’t hurt people. They have no reason to and nothing to gain. You only hurt others if you feel you have something to gain from it.

Anger then, is an indulgent expression that results from an unhappiness or frustration with one’s own situation.

Being mean is foolproof evidence that someone is lacking something from their own life.

It is only when we are lacking something from our own life that we then resort to deriving our value from positioning ourselves in comparison to others. Namely, the attacking, criticizing, or condemning of others is used as a mechanism for elevating ourselves over another person or group of people.

At least that’s what we are trying to do subconsciously when we are mean to people. In reality of course, being mean to others is only a reflection of our own weakness and is not something that other strong, mature, and intelligent people are ever drawn to.

But it leaves the question, “what do you do when someone is mean to you?”

Should you retaliate?

Should you justify your own position?

Should you just ignore them?

That decision is yours, but I’ve tried all three and none of those responses seem to create lasting resolution because none of them deal with the root issue that is causing someone to be mean, which is pain.

People who are mean are experiencing some kind of pain.

They are hurt.

They have taken a beating.

They have experienced some type of loss.

You may never get to know what that pain is or what caused it but if you can remember that they are definitely dealing with some type of deep pain, and remind yourself of that, then your response becomes clear.

You should treat them in the way you would treat anyone experiencing pain.

You love them.

You pray for them.

You care for them.

You support them.

It is not easy to do that. It is not simple to do that. It is not popular to do that.

It takes extraordinary discipline, awareness, and maturity to do that.

But if you do it, it will create radical transformation – if not in their life, definitely in yours.