Get Your Free eBook

GET IT NOW! Rory Vaden eBook

Sign up to receive my Daily Discipline blog posts via e-mail and get a copy of my popular e-mini book of quotes FREE.

Get a free Rory Vaden e-book!

The Determinant of One’s Happiness

The Determinant of One's Happiness

One of the most empowering and sometimes simultaneously destructive truths is that you always find what you’re looking for.

If you look for the positive in a person, an event, a scenario or a situation, then you will find something positive.

If you look for the negative in a person, an event, a scenario or a situation, then you will find something negative.

Which suggests that it matters much less what is, and matters much more what you think about what is.

You then, are the author of your own life.

You are the creator of your own happiness or unhappiness.

Your positivity or negativity is completely your own fault.

What we need to train ourselves to do then is not to spend so much time looking for a better situation, thinking that there is an easier way, or wishing some person was different.

Instead, we need to train ourselves to see the positive in whatever it is we are looking at.

We need to focus on looking for the positive in each scenario.

We need to be intentional about finding the good in every circumstance.

And we need to be deliberate about seeing the best in other people.

We need to notice what is right with the world and what is right with the people in our world.

Because it is a peculiar truth of the human mind that we often care less about accuracy and more about just proving ourselves right.

So whatever we decide to be true about ourselves, our friends, our jobs, and our circumstances is what our brain will seek to validate as right.

Our brain typically searches for and recognizes only the information that supports its original premise.

So be careful.

Be careful what you choose.

Because whether you choose to see the positive or the negative is what is likely to actually become true for your life and be the determinant of your happiness.

Where Happiness Comes From

Happiness

Pursuing happiness is not what brings happiness.

Pursuing service is what brings happiness.

When we pursue happiness we convince ourselves that if we had something else, did something else, or had something more then it would make us feel better.

But if stuff or experiences was what made people happy, then we all should be happy already because most of us already have plenty of stuff.

Serving though is what always fills us up.

Serving brings us joy.

Serving supplies meaning for our lives.

There is something magical about the exchange that takes place when we help other people.

Our connectedness to another human makes us happy.

Our usefulness to someone outside of us makes us happy.

Our contribution to something greater than ourselves makes us happy.

There is nothing like the feeling you get when you serve someone. When you pour into them and fill them up.

The irony is that in dedicating your time, your energy, and your resources to serving others, you gain in return that ever fleeting feeling that we are all endlessly in search of: happiness.

Hate the Maybe

“Maybe” is an awful place to be in life.

Maybe is definitely indefinite. Maybe is unsure. Uncertain. Uncommitted.

Maybe keeps you stuck. Maybe means you are not moving towards what is in front of you and you are also not moving towards something else. Maybe always and only means you are moving backwards.

Allowing other people to live in “maybe” is a disservice. You allowing them to be a “maybe” means you don’t care enough about them to help them commit to a direction. It means you are condoning indecision. It means you are blessing what is mediocre.

Powerful people do not accept “maybe”.
A “no” is fine.
A “yes” is great.
But “maybe” is unacceptable.

A powerful person knows that there is emotional energy tied up in any unmade decision. A powerful person knows that you can’t accomplish greatness with “kind of”, “sort of” or “maybe”.

You aren’t doing anyone any favors by allowing them to be a “maybe” in business or in life. And if you are a “maybe”, then you are slowing down everyone else around you.

Quit living in maybe.

What If…

What if… you were capable of more than you ever thought possible?

What if… you were able to do what no one else had ever done before?

What if… your best moments were still ahead of you?

What if… your most important legacy was still to be completed?

What if… the purpose of your life was still to be revealed?

How would that make you live…right now?

Entitlement

Entitlement is a disgusting disease that destroys our ability to reach our dreams in life.

The filth of it is that we don’t get what we want most out of life not because we don’t know what to do and not because we don’t have the power to do it but simply because.

At some point in our life we decided that we were no longer willing to do the things we know we should be doing.

We got on the escalator.

What do you know you should be doing that you’ve decided you’re above doing anymore?

Think about how much that is costing…