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You’re Gossiping and You Don’t Even Know It

GOSSIPING

People say all the time “I never gossip” but unfortunately many of them are mistaken. 

They do participate in gossip, they just don’t realize it. 

Because we think of gossiping as “telling” secrets we’ve heard; but there’s more to it than that. 

To listen to gossip is to participate in gossip. 

Why?

Because when you listen to gossip you create a clearing and an environment for an emotional person to propagate their story. 

In other words you give a gossiper an audience. And that invites and encourages them to continue talking about whatever it is that they are talking about. 

Listening to gossip will at minimum make the person feel more validated and at most fan their flame to share even more. 

Because it’s hard to listen to gossip and not be agreeable and supportive of the person you’re listening to. It’s human nature to want to empathize with another person- especially when they’re frustrated or complaining. 

But by doing that you become an active member of the gossip crowd. You are advancing what is being said. 

So how do you know if what you are listening to is gossip?

Simple: Gossip is anything even remotely negative being said about a person who isn’t there. 

The moment someone you are talking to starts talking negative about another person you have immediately crossed into the gossip zone. 

And remember if you’re listening to gossip then you are participating in gossip. 

So how should you respond?

Also simple: You interrupt the person as quickly and politely yet firmly as possible and say “Hey, hopefully you don’t mind but I actually made a resolution this year that I would not talk negatively about or listen to negative talk about someone who isn’t in the room with me. I do want to support you and be a good friend though and the biggest thing I’ve learned that helps is to go talk directly with ________. I think that would probably help.”

This of course is simple but not easy. 

And yes you may lose some friends over this. And the ones you lose will probably be vocal about you being on your high horse because misery loves company and misery often gets angry when their company moves on and leaves them alone. 

But it’s the best thing you can do for yourself, the person who isn’t there, and the person who is frustrated. 

Because, as Eleanor Roosevelt is credited with saying: Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Training Your Subconscious with Vince Poscente – Episode 169 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

subconcious

Vince Poscente, one of the most in-demand speakers today, is an expert on Resiliency—the ability to overcome challenges and bounce back even stronger than ever before. His client list includes top organizations with one thing in common: they understand that success is not just about reaching your goals and getting what you want. There also has to be an intent to handle setbacks and overcome obstacles and end of smarter, stronger and more focused than ever before, Vince knows first-hand the power that attitude, determination and innovation play in your future success–especially when life doesn’t go as planned. A recreational skier, Vince rose to the ranks of an Olympic skier in just four short years. Landing him a spot as a Times Best Selling author, Hall of Fame Speaker and Award winning business owner.

Show Highlights:

  • Moments of emotional intensity are always followed up by a decision.  @vinceposcente
  • Resiliency has a lot to do with how we make decisions. @vinceposcente
  • We must become conscious of the decision making moments we have. @vinceposcente
  • Clarity is having an emotional connection to where you want to go. @vinceposcente
  • Commitment is a process, not just a one-time moment. @vinceposcente
  • Competitive advantage comes from doing the things your competition is not willing to do. @vinceposcente
  • Goal setting is about being present. @vinceposcente
  • You are the person that you tell yourself you are. @rory_vaden
  • Monitor the limiting belief thoughts you have throughout the day. @rory_vaden
  • Be aware of what you tell yourself about yourself in moments of failure. @rory_vaden
  • Negative thinking is a form of endulgement. @rory_vaden

To learm more about Vince, hear him speak or get your copy of one of his books visit: vinceposcente.com 

Looking for an adventure? Check out Vince’s website: heroesclimb.com

The Action Catalyst is a weekly podcast hosted by Rory Vaden of Southwestern Consulting every Wednesday. The show is regularly in the Top 25 of Business News Podcasts, has listeners from all around the world and shares “insights and inspiration to help you take action.” Each week Rory shares ideas on how to increase your self-discipline and make better use of your time to help you achieve your goals in life. He also interviews special expert guests and thought leaders. Subscribe on iTunes and please leave a rating and review!