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The 5 Love Languages for Leaders with Dr. Gary Chapman – Episode 206 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

Dr_Gary_Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman has degrees from some of the most respected colleges and seminaries. He’s written some of the best-selling books of the past decade and appeared on thousands of radio and television programs across the country. But Dr. Gary Chapman knows more than just a lot of scholarly theories and practical advice—he knows people. He knows how to relate to people, how to have fun and how to make people laugh.

Chapman is a well-known marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, Love Language Minute, and a Saturday morning program, Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 400 stations. The 5 Love Languages, one of Chapman’s most popular titles, topped various bestseller charts for years. It has been published in 50 languages, sold more than ten million copies and is currently on the New York Times best-seller list. 2017 marks the 25th anniversary of The 5 Love Languages book.  Chapman has been directly involved in real-life family counseling for more than 35 years. Dr. Chapman also serves as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Chapman is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds B.A. and M.A. degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively. He has received M.R.E. and Ph.D. degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and taken postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University. Chapman and his wife, Karolyn, have been married for more than 45 years and reside in Winston-Salem, N.C. The Chapmans have two grown children, Shelley and Derek.

Show Highlights:

The 5 love languages applied to leadership with @DrGaryChapman

Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21

Actions speak louder than words when acts of service is your primary love language. @DrGaryChapman

It’s universal to give gifts as acts of love. @DrGaryChapman

Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. @DrGaryChapman

We have long known the power of physical touch. @DrGaryChapman

Out of the 5 love languages, each of us has a primary love language. @DrGaryChapman

When you realize the importance of quality time, it is easy to carve out time for it. @DrGaryChapman

All 5 languages can be learned. @DrGaryChapman

64% of people who leave a job say they left primarily because they didn’t feel appreciated. @DrGaryChapman

If they feel loved, they will stay. If they do not feel loved, they will leave. @rory_vaden

10 phrases you can never say too often as a leader. @rory_vaden

5 acts of service you should engage in to increase the morale and retention in business. @rory_vaden

 

This is a special extended interview! Send an email to RoryPodcast@gmail.com with your first name in the subject line to gain access!

Learn more from Dr. Gary Chapman at 5lovelanguages.com and appreciationatwork.com

The Action Catalyst is a weekly podcast hosted by Rory Vaden of Southwestern Consulting every Wednesday. The show is regularly in the Top 25 of Business News Podcasts, has listeners from all around the world and shares “insights and inspiration to help you take action.” Each week Rory shares ideas on how to increase your self-discipline and make better use of your time to help you achieve your goals in life. He also interviews special expert guests and thought leaders. Subscribe on iTunes and please leave a rating and review!

6 Elements of Great Communication with Dianna Booher – Episode 203 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

Diana_Booher

Dianna Booher is the bestselling author of 47 books, published in 60 foreign-language editions, with nearly 4 million copies sold. Her personal development topics include leadership communication, executive presence, writing, and life balance. Her most popular titles include:

  • Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader
    • What MORE Can I Say? Why Communication Fails and What to Do About It
    • Communicate With Confidence: How to Say It Right, the First Time and Every Time
    • Speak With Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Inspire, Inform, and Persuade
  • Communicate Like A Leader: Connecting Strategically to Coach, Inspire, and Get Things Done

National media such as Good Morning America, USATodayThe Wall Street JournalInvestor’s Business Daily, Bloomberg, Forbes.com, FOX, CNN, NPR, Success, FastCompany.com, and Entrepreneur have interviewed her for opinions on critical workplace communication issues.

Keynotes, consulting, and training clients include IBM, Exxon Mobil, JP Morgan Chase, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, BP, Chevron, Conoco-Phillips, PepsiCo, Novartis, Honeywell, Merrill Lynch, Department of the Navy, and NASA, just to name a few.

She has been inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame by the National Speakers Association. Success Magazine has named her to its list of “21 Top Speakers for the 21st Century.” She also appears at #54 on the Richtopia “Top 200 Most Influential Authors in the World” list (2017).

Show Highlights:

A leader improves the situation beyond what it was when they took over. @diannabooher

A Leader improves the status quo. @diannabooher

People micromanage because of fear and misunderstanding. @diannabooher

Micromanaging is a sign that a leader hasn’t developed the necessary strategic perspective. @diannabooher

Leaders need to think strategically about the long-term effect of their actions. @diannabooher

The one question every leader must answer correctly: “What are you working on?” @diannabooher

On social media: have a strategy, choose your channels, be consistent and engage. @diannabooher

People have to take responsibility for their own career development. @diannabooher

Fire people to be fair. @diannabooher

Great communication must be clear. @rory_vaden

Great communication must be concise. @rory_vaden

Great communication is consistent. @rory_vaden

Great communication is strategic. @rory_vaden

Great communication is always straight forward. @rory_vaden

Great communication is servant minded. @rory_vaden

Learn more about Dianna and check out her book by visiting: communicatelikealeaderbook.com

The Action Catalyst is a weekly podcast hosted by Rory Vaden of Southwestern Consulting every Wednesday. The show is regularly in the Top 25 of Business News Podcasts, has listeners from all around the world and shares “insights and inspiration to help you take action.” Each week Rory shares ideas on how to increase your self-discipline and make better use of your time to help you achieve your goals in life. He also interviews special expert guests and thought leaders. Subscribe on iTunes and please leave a rating and review!

How to Recruit Your Friends for Anything

Recruit

Job #1 of a leader is to A.B.R. – always be recruiting.

After all, how can you be a leader if there is no one to follow you?

And when it comes to recruiting, the best type of recruiting is personal recruiting- recruiting people who you already know and who know you.

We know that statistically, in almost every group, company, organization or cause, that when you recruit friends and family, they typically are successful sooner and they stay longer because there is already a foundation of trust that has been established.

But sometimes it can be awkward to approach family and friends about working with you.

“I don’t want to make things weird.”

“They probably wouldn’t be interested.”

“I’m sure they’re already so successful doing what they’re doing.”

These are just a few of the rationalizations we make that give us the pass from doing the sometimes uncomfortable work of bringing up a job or business opportunity with friends.

Or perhaps you’re trying to recruit them to volunteer for your cause or organization.

Or maybe you’re wanting to recruit them for your softball team or some other recreational gathering.

Or you might be trying to recruit them to give you money to support something you’re doing.

Regardless of what it is, we all end up in a recruiting situation sooner or later and we face fear when it comes to asking people we know to join in on our adventures.

And while I can’t promise you any magic tricks to automatically recruit everyone you ever talk to, I can share with you one powerful secret technique that I learned in my days becoming a recruiting record holder at Southwestern Advantage when I was in college.

The technique they taught us still works to this day and it can be applied to just about any recruiting environment.

All you say is this…

“John, you may not realize this but [insert opportunity] is really very important to me.

And I know that it may not be for you, and if it turns out that it isn’t that is perfectly fine.

However, I want to ask your help with something and make a promise to you…

Because I believe in you and I think you’re awesome, I want you to take a little bit of time to  come and formally learn about [insert opportunity] and how it works.

If you come hear about it and you end up deciding it’s not for you, that is totally fine! As long as you come hear about it, I promise I’ll never bring it up to you again.

However…

If you don’t come hear about it, then I’m going to bug you about it EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE YOU until you do!

And you know I will! But it’s only because I believe in you and I believe in [insert opportunity] so much and I think you might actually be into it.

But if it turns out you’re not that’s ok too.

So when do you think we could carve out some time to talk about it?”

And then all you have to do is simply keep both of your promises.

If they go through the formal process and decide it’s not for them, then leave them alone about it.

Don’t pressure them. Don’t make them feel guilty. Don’t keep bringing it up. Don’t be passive aggressive about it. Just let it go and move on from it until they re-approach you about it some day in the future.

But, if they don’t hear about it, then you freaking bug the crap out of them pleasantly but persistently until they finally do. 🙂

No matter what happens, it will turn out to be a good thing for both of you.

The Misunderstood Truth about “Giving”

giving

One night a little boy noticed his mother paying bills at the kitchen table.

He curiously inquired, “mom, what are you doing?”

She replied, “Oh, I’m just paying the bills.”

“What are bills?” he followed up.

“Bills are when you give someone money in exchange for them doing work for you in return.”

The little boy had been wanting a new toy and so later that night, he came up with a plan…

He took out the trash.

Then he put away all the dishes.

Then he cleaned his room.

The next morning his mom woke up and saw a piece of paper slid under her door that said “BILL” in big letters across the top.

And it was marked as follows:

Took out the trash – $5

Put away dishes – $10

Cleaned bedroom – $5

Total Amount Owed – $20.

And later that day, the boy found $20 laying on his pillow.

But the next morning the boy woke up and under his door he found a piece of paper that had been slid underneath.

In large letters across the top it said “BILL.”

Then it had listed:

Buying every piece of clothing you have – $5000

Cooking every meal that you’ve ever eaten – $3500

Cleaning up after you every day of your entire life – $2000

But then at the bottom it said…

Total Amount Owed – $0.

Paid In Full by the love you give me each and every day.

That is the story I heard Charlie “Tremendous” Jones tell during his philanthropic lifetime achievement award acceptance speech at The National Speakers Association just a few years before he died.

But what Charlie said right after that though is what I remember the most…

He said, “I’m honored to be recognized for what I have given. The truth is however that I have given nothing. None of us really give. All we do, is simply pay back a little bit of all that we owe.”

11 Servant Selling Philosophies – Episode 197 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

Philosophies

By being the pioneers of Servant Selling, Southwestern Consulting is also challenging everyone within our company to live up to a new standard. In this week’s episode of the Action Catalyst Podcast, Rory shares the 11 philosophies that Servant Sellers believe.

It’s hard to be nervous when your heart’s on service. @rory_vaden

Winning a person’s trust is more important than making the sale. If you earn someone’s trust you will eventually make the sale. @rory_vaden

You can put your client’s needs first and still come out ahead in the long run. @rory_vaden

By letting people know it’s okay to say “no” you also enable them to feel comfortable enough to say “yes”. @rory_vaden

Speak their language, not yours. Sell the way they like to buy; not the way you like to sell. @rory_vaden

When it comes to “closing” a big part of what makes selling a service is that people need help making decisions. @rory_vaden

It’s a disservice to allow people to remain undecided. @rory_vaden

You make it easier for people to buy when you show them that you are doing business with friends, or friends of friends. @rory_vaden

When you exceed your current client’s expectations they will ultimately become the source of new business. @rory_vaden

Our job isn’t to talk people into things they don’t want. Our job is to bend over backwards to help people figure out what is best for them. @rory_vaden

You always get paid for how hard you work. Sometimes now, often times later but always eventually. @rory_vaden

 

The Action Catalyst is a weekly podcast hosted by Rory Vaden of Southwestern Consulting every Wednesday. The show is regularly in the Top 25 of Business News Podcasts, has listeners from all around the world and shares “insights and inspiration to help you take action.” Each week Rory shares ideas on how to increase your self-discipline and make better use of your time to help you achieve your goals in life. He also interviews special expert guests and thought leaders. Subscribe on iTunes and please leave a rating and review!

One Devastating Mistake A Leader Should Never Make

mistake

If you’re going to become a great leader there is one thing you must never do.

There is one behavior you must immediately extinguish.

There is one habit that you must permanently eradicate.

You cannot talk negatively about other people in their absence to subordinates.

Ever.

Gossip in general is a very destructive dynamic. But when the leader does it, it can be absolutely devastating.

Why?

Because leadership is about building people.

Leadership is about helping to lift people up.

Leadership is about raising people to be better than they were before.

So it’s the leader who is supposed to be the one who believes in the people.

And if I, as the leader, ever share negative feedback or criticism with anyone who isn’t a superior then I am chipping away at that foundation of trust and the fabric that binds the entire team.

Because I’m perpetuating the possibility that leadership doesn’t believe in the people that are here.

And that hurts everyone.

As the leader I may sometimes need help navigating my way through challenging circumstances with the people in my care.

That is fine. But that support should come me from my colleagues or my superiors.

As the leader I may even need to vent or complain a bit about the difficulty I’m having helping other people perform.

That is even fine. But that support must come from my superiors.

In Southwestern, we refer to this rule as “puking up.”

If you have to, you always “puke up.”

You complain “up.”

You get discouraged “up.”

You get frustrated “up.”

But you never puke down.

And you never puke sideways.

You never pollute the thinking of people who aren’t in a place where they can do anything about it.

You never plant a seed of doubt into other team member’s minds about someone else who is on the team.

You never talk poorly (even suggestively) about anyone in the organization to someone that isn’t your superior.

And you never ever talk poorly about another leader to younger team members.

If you’re a team member you talk to a leader.

If you’re a leader you talk to an executive.

If you’re an executive you talk to the CEO.

If you’re the CEO, I guess you talk to God.

But this isn’t about being fake, or pretending, or not being genuine with people who may technically be your friends.

This is just about preserving the integrity and structure of the whole organization for the benefit of everyone.

It’s about permanently cementing the binding force that holds everything and everyone together: belief.

People need to believe.

Subordinates need to believe.

Colleagues need to believe.

The leaders need to believe.

You need to believe.

Every person on the team needs to believe if it’s going to ever be possible for the group to become a championship team.

And that starts by supporting one another by having their back when they’re not around.

It starts with making sure the leaders are building people up and not tearing them down.

Sometimes it starts with what we just need to immediately stop doing.